10 Pillars of a Thriving Relationship

Relationships aren't always easy, but strong ones offer a wealth of benefits. Here are 10 reasons why a relationship deserves the effort to flourish: Mutual Respect and Trust: A solid foundation is built on respecting each other's opinions, values, and boundaries. Trust allows vulnerability and fosters a safe space to share your true self. Open Communication: Honest and clear communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Sharing thoughts, feelings, and needs openly strengthens the bond and helps overcome challenges. Supportive Encouragement: A healthy relationship thrives when partners celebrate each other's successes and offer unwavering support during struggles. Shared Values and Goals: Having a common ground in core values and long-term goals fosters a sense of unity and direction for the relationship. Healthy Independence: While enjoying quality time together, successful couples also maintain healthy independence. Pursuing individual interests keeps passions alive and prevents codependency. Effective Conflict Resolution: Disagreements are inevitable, but strong relationships handle them constructively. Active listening, empathy, and a focus on solutions pave the way for growth. Emotional Intimacy: Feeling safe to express emotions freely creates a deep connection. Sharing vulnerabilities and offering emotional support strengthens the bond. Physical Affection and Intimacy: Physical touch is a powerful way to express love and affection. Finding a level of intimacy that works for both partners strengthens the emotional connection. Laughter and Shared Fun: Sharing lighthearted moments and finding humor together creates lasting memories and keeps the spark alive. Growth Mindset: Both partners being open to personal growth fosters a dynamic relationship. Embracing change and learning together keeps the bond fresh and exciting. Remember, a successful relationship is an ongoing journey, not a static destination. By nurturing these qualities, couples can create a lasting and fulfilling love.

The Allure of Love: Why we fall and Why It Matters

Love. An intoxicating cocktail of emotions, a powerful drive that shapes human experience. But beyond the butterflies and giddiness, why do we crave this state? Love offers a profound sense of connection. It compels us to seek out another, to build a bond deeper than friendship. This connection fulfills a core human need for belonging. In a loved one, we find a confidant, a cheerleader, someone who sees us truly and accepts us flaws and all. Love isn't just warm fuzzies; it fosters personal growth. Loving someone pushes us to be better versions of ourselves. We strive to impress, to support, to be worthy of their love. This can spark courage, inspire kindness, and lead us to new heights we might not have reached alone. Love is a potent teacher, revealing aspects of ourselves we never knew existed. Through love's lens, we see our strengths and weaknesses reflected back. It can unearth insecurities, but also unveil hidden capacities for empathy and understanding. Love is a wellspring of joy. Sharing laughter, celebrating triumphs, and weathering challenges together creates a tapestry of shared experiences. A loved one becomes our partner in crime, our biggest supporter, the one person whose happiness feels intrinsically linked to our own. Love isn't always sunshine and rainbows. It demands work, compromise, and navigating inevitable conflicts. But even through the tough times, a strong loving bond offers a sense of security and unwavering support. It's a safe harbor in the storm, a constant reminder that we're not alone. Ultimately, love is a chance to experience life's full spectrum – the joy, the sorrow, the growth. It's a dance of vulnerability and trust, a testament to the human need for connection. So, the next time love comes knocking, don't shut the door. Embrace the adventure, for the potential rewards are truly life-enriching.

When Relationship Turn to Betting Games! Part 1

Slowly, slowly, some relationships are no longer a thing of choice for some. It is just a matter of anything that goes. She wants me, she wants me not... he wants me, he wants me. Sometimes, we offend the other and then we think of what to expect. Would he lash out at me and maybe today he is going to be different. Maybe his boss wouldn't make him feel bad. When relationships turn to the stage where you are not sure he or she wants you or not, it has just turned to a betting game. And most times betting games lose. Winning is not meant to be in your favour but the person who puts the game up in the first place. So what do we do about it? Obviously, if you have reached the stage of games, it means the other person may not want you in their lives again. That's one point. Next is to find out where you stand, or make the person realize the stage he or she is putting you in. Next post we would continue on what else to try.

Relationship Mistakes People Make

On today’s episode: Matthew Hussey, a relationship expert on the new NBC show ‘Ready for Love.’ He’s got a new book out called, “Get the Guy,” but he joined Ali to talk about the biggest mistakes people make after they’ve gotten the guy (or girl), and are trying to have an actual relationship. The first one, Matthew said--in his charming British accent--is competitiveness. “The key to any relationship is the extent to which you see each other as a team.” Couples who compete with each other won’t stay couples for long. Ali insisted that an exception should be made for tennis. Next on the list is laziness, when people get too comfortable and stop doing the things that attracted their partner in the first place. Another big relationship destroyer is overanalysis. “A guy will say something and a woman will go back to her friends and say, ‘what did he mean by that?’” Matthew says that men tend to be less detail oriented than women, and therefore women can drive themselves crazy by not simply taking a comment at face value. Other things again seem to be... "That's not how your sister does it" Lack of maturity, humility, integrity, people pleasing and loss of trust never being satisfied. Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side And while writing this, I discovered a painful thing...most people giving advice on relationships mostly on TV are single...check it...what does this trend mean...Oprah Winfrey style or what.

Starting All over Again

Many have had this painful thing happening. The fact that after breaking up, how do they start again after all that has happened? Its easy for some...apologize, kneel (of course you would have to buy flowers or something or more just to show you are sorry about the past). Some it has been a simple kiss. But the fact remains...do not ever think things will be the same as it always was. Because if you do, you would get disappointed. I have, on many occasions. The only thing is that you can make it better than what it was before. Nothing like before remember. And be positive...its the only thing that keeps people including me myself when things starts to turn sour a little after starting the relationship over again. I imagine relationship stops at Girls or Boys, remember there is that lost brother, father, mother, sister, child or friend...it just would never be the same. Same like o'times they say...face reality, I say.

The Ego of a Man

Listen lady, have you ever been raped before? think of it. Now if you harass and demean a man's ego is just like doing that to him and men can react differently to such. A man may beat you up to let you know you hurt his ego, another may leave your house, another may never talk to you...the key idea is managing the Ego of a man. If you can do it, the world of the men is yours, to begin with right from time, women could do it just that these days humility has been replaced and somethings else. Ego of men differ so be careful, food is good for many but for some, a single touch on his head and...kabol. Whatever, I wish we will study this ego thing one day, but till then be careful my MUCHACHA

Is it lost love?

Yeah, I just remembered I had a friend who just stopped calling me and made me feel good only when I called. Of course she is male sorry female. So I want to go a little step ahead by visiting her even though we stay like 985km apart. Then I got beaten up and lost my phone. I got my number back, but she was the type that hardly ever called so I don't even know her number by heart and imagine if she will ever call. I have tried many ways to get her number back to no avail. I did like but the fact that someone that calls you almost everyday or beeps your phone reduces to almost a minimum and then...Don't it mean I should let go, like most things I do sometimes or I should continue to search for her when right now there is someone that is showing a lot of interest in me a man!? I don't know but say this to Rose when you see her, is it lost love you will come after? don't worry...somewhere, somehow, if i don't wait then someone would be waiting...But seriously it our love lost

What are all men and women after?

It's being long since i came here but of course I have been practicalizing love and tenets...Yes, the last two months became so hot that I had to ask my self, what did I want whether from the relationship I was pretending to have or from Life itself. With the death of my Uncle Mr.Charles Ayede it became more paramount. Why did I want to have a relationship with a woman and why them too? Intensive work and research told got me some funny answers. Some say sex, love, companionship, just for the fun of it and the most craziest I heard some just because everyone is doing it or they just dont know. Whatever it is, I take companionship and ...whatever don't ask the second one. So I write this to my new friend who was my enemy before - Juliana, I just love being around you and hope whatever it is, you would be my friend for a long time to come even if we don't understand reasons for ...

The New Resolution

Yes, I have my new resolution not to keep resolutions...kiddin but thats what many people do in a relationship. they forget that as the new year begins, its bye bye to bad habits. Those things that the ladies or the guys hate...and which point you must reach or compromise with your friend or let it end...I think. Anyway everybody has been living with him or herself without giving themselves up so please give another chance to your fellow guy. Its a new year, a new time, and a new position. See you in the months ahead

Why do we always return back?

I read a story on Lady Gaga who on www.azcentral.com, it was shocking. She actually went back to a guy (Luc Carl)who dumped her in very funny circumstances. Strangely, he only heard she was around looking for him and he dropped the Girl, he had been dating. The abandoned lady didn't fret (why would she?). But Gaga's mother did complain. Because they had a nasty break up. I am reporting this as I saw this but see...What will happen if a man who can simply break up with a Lady because he heard a lost love came around. Is it that he regrets the long time off or he wants somethings else this time? I don't know but its time to always reconsider things before you break up. It's not nice to stay with a person who breaks up anytime he wants...or...any way, Luc! You better not break her heart this time...or you will be my next case study

What is wrong with him?

Every sign is there that he loves you, but he has never proposed to you to be his girl or wife. One of the two, well, people i met like to say that he is afraid that is why! But someone just let me on the truth, check it... it is not fear, it is simply because he is not serious, doesn't want to commit. Why? Because he doesn't know what the future holds and doesn't want that to happen. So it looks like fear. In some cases it may be that he is actually look out for some other options, so now what do you do to such a person? I don't not but lets try this...Find ways to corner him and ask him indirect questions if you want him to proceed with you. Questions like...why is that Guys are always afraid to commit to a fine lady when they see another they like...or...DO you like me?(dont try this, you will freak him out if it fear that is bothering him). Whatever, Just know that the ways I have mentioned may not work but then...lets have fun. See you

What is this name or is it game?

A Lady I once met told me this...I hope you are not interested in the name, I am in for the game alone. Well whatever the game is i wont say but how can we humans call Love a name? Then what do you call sex and love put together?
Well, I realized one thing...when you enter a relationship it is good once in a while to know whether you people are playing the game or you are in for the name and decide whether it is what you want.
Imagine asking the question - what am I to you? Go ask your girl or guy and find out what he or she will say, maybe you might then know if it is a game you are playing or love is the name. Hmm wait till I find out whether its a game she prefers or what?

Was it time to leave...

For the past three months he promised her he wont drink or become drunk. As a girl friend she could manage that a little but as a wife...with beating marks to prove he won't stop she decided something else. Next time he drinks and gets mad, she will insult the hell out of him. She was lucky that wasn't her last mistake because for the first time in their 10 year old marriage he beat her up with not only fists but a chair on top. Now her mind told her to try the insulting the next time he gets drunk. She called her mum and the only comment she heard was...come home. But she loved him. Will she wait till he does the ultimate or till she kills him in self defence? Sometimes to leave is more than just a choice, it is to keep yourself alive. Alive and happy is the key word...Learn to always be happy in your relationship then you will know whether you want to leave or not. Hmmm, I rest my case on this issue!

When is it time to leave?

When is it time to leave a relationship? Who will tell you, and how would you know? Are there signs...what really would you need to know?
Simple, man and woman can be unpredictable...but they still show signs. Sometimes the person at fault doesnt know and wonders why the other person in the relationship leaves. Why wont I leave when all you care about is yourself, your mum, your brother or who ever? Leaving tells the other person that its time to make a change. The logic, the time to leave is not when it is enough but the time to make a change that would give you a comfortable state of mind...
Well maybe I tell a story another time on this but remember, time to make a change that should alter the whole relationship and force the other person to think...learn to do it sometimes with little pain, other times with all pain but never regret it...bad advice?Next time will talk

Why do fools fall in love...

Why do fools fall in Love? has been said over the years and decades. But remember this, it didnt say that wise people can't fall in love but...There are some people instead of them loving without all the thinking they think all of the options to the extent of thinking of all angles. Angles like is he or she a cheat? Does he really care, what religion is he or she from and a lot more. Trully then you didnt love the person from the start. Backstreet boyz say i dont care who you are or where you are from as long as you love me. Fools will consider almost nothing at all to fall in love. Why should you? Except they start misbehaving then you need to get wise and start watching for signs. But it doesn't stop love from failing, and this topic isn't for that yet. Learn to love with your heart then cautious later, love is fun, enjoy the fun and stop mind-pulating the others with rules and pulls. At the end you now understand why fools fall in love.